RELEASE THE JUNK!

I get asked from time to time for recommendations on where to eat out here. While Ryan would protest that I’m lazy about food relying on delivery.com too much and not caring to venture out of the neighborhood much or just plain ordering the same things over and over, I like what I like and this list contains some of the places I’ve enjoyed over the years in this city. While I bitch and moan about how bad food is here compared to California, there are quite a few decent things to eat while in town. The bulk of these will be in the east village, but then, my own neighborhood will get more attention than anywhere else in the city. 

Being that I stick closely to my own neighborhood most of the time, this guide should really be for places to eat below 50th St. since anything beyond that is “upstate Manhattan” or an outer borough to me and therefore doesn’t really exist.

1. 7A (7th St. and Ave. A, 24 hours) - This place is cramped but the food is inexpensive and one of the delivery boys is smokin’ hot. Mainstays for me here are the quesadillas, burgers and salads. Brunch is always the french toast with bacon, rum butter and bananas. The mexican burger + cheddar + bacon is a sloppy mess but highly recommended.

2. Yaffa (St. Mark’s Place between 1st Ave. and Ave. A, 24 hours) - I love this place, Ryan hates it. It’s all about the ambiance, and the decor. If I were single and had my own place, this is the kind of tacky chic I’d pay someone to come and do to my place. During warmer time, it’s all about sitting out in the garden. The food is pretty good too. I recommend the turkey burger served on a baguette with either cheddar or brie and always go for the carrot dressing on the salad and not the vinaigrette. Some good brunch options too with the breakfast menu starting around 1am.

3. Dumpling Man (St. Mark’s Place between 1st Ave. and Ave. A) - I’ve always hated pot stickers and other asian dumplings (other than shumai) but this place changed that for me. It’s a tiny space with an assembly line of asian women turning out some amazing dumplings. There’s a variety of special sauces you can order for extra and you can have your dumplings either steamed or seared. I usually go for an order of 6 seared chicken though sometimes I mix in a couple seared shrimp ones. I bemoan the loss of the marco pollo sauce (kick ass marinara) but the green curry they replaced it with is pretty good. Avoid the pumpkin dessert dumplings since they are just frightening!

4. Zaitzeff - (Ave. B around 3rd St.) - Admittedly, I’ve never dined in so I can’t comment on the location. I have had their burgers delivered a few times and they’ve usually been worth the wait. The fries are nothing to write home about but this is the other place your burger comes on a Portuguese muffin rather than a bun which is spectacularly good. 

5. S’mac - (13th St. and something) - If you’re in the mood for Mac and Cheese, this is the place. I’ve only dined in a couple times and can never remember exactly which avenue is the closest but I’ve had many successful deliveries from them ever since they added some additional capacity. You can have your mac and cheese so many ways here it’s almost insane. The 4 cheese with seasoned ground beef is always good or Cheddar and Pepper Jack with slab bacon is another good bet. The portions are deceptive so start small and work your way up. I’ve had a couple times where I couldn’t finish the smallest size.

6. Odessa (Ave. A between 7th and 8th, 24 hours) - Ryan would argue that I punish him with this diner for being indecisive about what he wants and knowing he’s tired of 7A. It’s a cheap bet if you just want average diner food without much fuss. Sometimes you have to chase the waitstaff down to get your check when you were ready to leave 10 minutes ago.

7. Zen (St Mark’s Place between Bowery and 2nd Ave.) and Sushi Lounge (St. Mark’s Place and Ave. A) - These places have the same menu I’ve heard are run by the same people. Ryan prefers Zen to Sushi Lounge but most of the time I don’t feel like battling the douchey crowd over on St. Mark’s and 2nd both on the street and in the restaurant. It’s a decent bet for no frills Japanese fare and they have lots of reasonably priced specials. Their happy hour from 10pm - some early morning hour usually draws out the loud, drunk crowds. Go for the nanban age (deep fried chicken stuffed with cheese and scallions) or dig through their sushi menu. The chicken teriyaki is usually a safe bet but the tempura is often disappointing and the curry rice downright gross!

8. Yakiniku West (9th St. between Stuyvesant and 2nd Ave.) - This is my favorite Japanese food in town next to Teriyaki Boy. It’s yakiniku style so you get trays of raw meat with dipping sauces that you grill in the middle of your table. The sushi bar turns out a mean Alaskan roll, and your dinner comes complete with soup, salad and ice cream at the end. Be sure to wear comfy shoes that are easy to put back on since I often find myself wanting to be rolled out of the place like a beached whale.

9. Osso Bucco (88 University) - I really like this place even if the waitstaff comes across as being terrified of me at times. Italian food that comes in two sizes: family for sharing or individual for stuffing yourself silly. The lasagna is always a great bet here!

10. Max (Ave. B and like 5th St.) - It took me quite a few times eating here to finally stop just ordering the lasagna. Granted, theirs is my other favorite in town and it comes served in a bubbling cauldron covered in a tomato béchamel sauce. The place is cramped like most other east village joints but they’ve got great seating in the garden in back when the weather is good. The Italian meat loaf with au gratin potatoes can be to die for. Be sure to hit the ATM before going since this place is cash only!

11. Teriyaki Boy (10th St. between 1st and 2nd Aves.) - Yeah, it’s fast food…but it turns out Japanese fare as good or better than Zen and Sushi Lounge though Ryan would beg to differ. The tempura is good and the curry with rice is the best I’ve had in town. Their Alaskan roll is only second to Yakinku West and their Tokyo Fried Chicken makes this fat ass want to cry with joy. Fear the beef teriyaki though, it’s almost always disappointing compared to the chicken.

12. Bite Me Best (Ave. C at 9th St.) - The pizza here kinda sucks since the crust is usually just plain wrong though the sauce is better than most places. It’s yet another pizza shop in the east village but what I get delivered from them is the fettucini alfredo with chicken and a couple garlic knots. Sometimes when you want heart attack on a plate it’s best to go with a greasy hole in the wall like this place. I’ve heard good things about their slices from others but have only ordered a whole pie before and was sorely disappointed.

13. East Village Pizza and Kebobs (9th St. and 1st Ave.) - My favorite shop in the east village for standard NY pie. The sauce can be hit and miss but the slices, whole pies, calzones, burgers and baklava almost always win. If your cholesterol levels are feeling low go for the lasagne pizza. It’s a ground beef, ricotta and mozzarella dream drizzled with a little sauce. 

14. Acme (Great Jones and Lafayette) - Southern, Cajun and delicious. This narrow place can be a factory of noise and confusion but one thing is certain: the food is unhealthy as sin but absolutely delicious. I love the meat loaf and the chicken fried steak. They turn out a mean brunch with the Bulldog (biscuit, scrambled eggs, sausage and gravey with sides of home fries and cheesy grits) and their pancakes and sausage are a real treat. 

15. Cafeteria (7th Ave. at 17th St., 24 hour) - My first list wouldn’t be complete without this cramped, crowded and noisy place. The only one on today’s list that isn’t in the east village but it always worth the trek to Chelsea. Brunch and dinner options abound but I tend to get drawn in by their drink menu. White grape martinis go well with anything but avoid the lychee martini since it can be kinda gross. Food options include seriously good mac and cheese (a couple varieties), some killer salads and my two favorite dishes here: lemon ricotta pancakes and an upscale twist on Roscoe’s fried chicken and waffles. If you go during a peak hour expect a long wait for a table and the staff to have no patience for anyone high maintenance. As a plus, you can grab drinks at the tiny, cramped bar while you wait.

This concludes my first volume, eventually I’ll write more as I take a walk down 11 years of memories in this city while preparing to move out of it (but not far from it.) Perhaps I’ll look back on this list in the future and make lists of places I must hit when I’m in town on the weekends and not commuting in for work during the week.